We all know that feeling that is nearly killing us when so many things are left unsaid. Is it because someone we liked ghosted us, broke up with us, hurt us. And we just want that last talk. The assurance that it meant something, or if we only knew the reasons for disappearing or acting that way…
We think if we don’t get closure, we can’t let go, we can’t move on. But we can. Because I have news for you that you won’t like at all and might hat me for that but: The end of it is closure enough. It ended. And that’s all you need to know. I know it’s fucking hard.
They’re not as awesome as you think they are.
Things to do to get closure
You might think you can’t do it on your own, but to end it for you and heal you only need you and no one else. Sit with the anger, pain, and disappointment, don’t avoid those feelings, they will haunt you otherwise. The best thing to do is not to wait for them to come back, BLOCK THEM EVERYWHERE. You need it for your inner peace. This sounds harsh but the truth is, even though I don’t know who you are grieving: They’re not as awesome as you think they are.
Going back to get closure is like going back into the water and asking the shark why it bit off your leg.
Why getting closure isn’t benificial to you
Are you really done when you get your answers? Because what if the answers aren’t the ones you wanted. Or if that last talk is just overshadowed with lies or discussions or contained no useful information at all? It might just hurt you again, it might just open up wounds that were already healing. It might leave you in a helpless or fragile position and that’s not the last memory you want to create for that person. Going back to get closure is like going back into the water and asking the shark why it bit off your leg.
Sometimes we would get all the answers, other times none at all, or next time we’re left on read. Maybe we won’t be able to deal with it, that it meant something, sometimes not with the opposite but honestly: You can’t even find out the truth either way.
They decided to leave and you can’t change that.
Why we think we need closure
What if you find out it was meaningful? What if you find out it wasn’t? What if they won’t tell you the truth anyway? Maybe your ego is craving the reassurance that you didn’t waste your time or that you meant something to someone. But you actually don’t need to know. And your ego will thank you even more that you didn’t hold onto them. You can have your own conclusions and they should never be that you weren’t good enough. There are a thousand reasons why someone decides to walk away. Not many have to do with you. As hard as it is: They decided to leave and you can’t change that. But to take that decision especially when they didn’t tell you why shows the true color of the person anyways.
And your conclusion should be that you don’t want to be with this kind of people anyways who aren’t even able to communicate the why or give you the respect you deserve.
