BAD DATES EPISODE I
I am not happy with our dating culture. You have an awesome date, there are sparkles and good talk, you go home happy and think, this is it and then they ghost or you get the message „You’re great but it’s not working out“ or a lame excuse. My friend was struggling with that a lot so I decided to try it the brave and honest way. I had my first date with Ben, a professional basketball player that had to quit because of an injury and is now designing jewelry. I found his smile so cute in his pictures. It was in reality as well, but he hardly ever smiled.
„You would be my perfect second wife“
Giving him a chance
I can’t even say why, but the first second we met, my head said „No“. But I was like „Simone, you should give it at least the date a chance“. We were grabbing a beer at a Späti and I paid because I ditched him the night before, when I spontaneously changed plans to meet my Berlin bestie instead of him. We walked a bit and sat down in Mauerpark. We had quite an interesting talk. Because he had very interesting and different views. 30 minutes into the date he said I would make a perfect second wife. He wasn’t married, there was no other woman but I still would be only the second because there should be one that gives him kids. I know this is super far from our middle European reality, but he was from Cameroon. He was sure, monogamy is a construction that we impose on ourselves. His Grandfather had 13 wives and over 100 children. I asked how he can do that. He could maintain them because he was obviously rich and knows how to please a woman. Then the women stay with him.
„You will die alone.“
Arguing on the Tram
I felt, that he liked me from the start, the way he looked at me was really sweet. But I tried hard to signal somehow that I don’t. In my head there popped up the sentence „what a waste of time“ and I decided to leave. I told him I will go home and he begged me to grab another quick beer. I said no, and asked him to respect that but he didn’t. We started arguing and I told him I will take the train that was arriving at the moment. He got on with me on that and it was an endless discussion about what I wanted. He was complaining that I don’t give him a chance because I said straight to his face that nothing will happen between us. He was certain that no man wants to have a woman that doesn’t want a family and that I will die alone. I told him that I won’t try to be someone I’m not to no one and it’s not his problem. The fact that he was arguing with me that I should have children when I am even not able to, is astonishing to me. The Tram was quite full and everyone around us could hear my arguments about why I am biologically not able to have kids.
I just can’t…even my grammar program doesn’t agree with him.
„You are wrong“
He was sure that I dumped him because he was too honest with me. I said I appreciate his honesty but I don’t need everyone to tell me how to live my life. He was going with me all the way to Marzahn to convince me that I’m wrong and I got really mad. I got off one station before my house because I didn’t feel comfortable with him knowing where I live, showed him the train back, and left.
He wrote me a message half an hour later complaining that he is still on his way back that he took just because of me. Well, I sure didn’t ask him to.
