Because you are ugly! Just kidding! If you are searching for the reasons why they ghosted you on the internet, you are probably taking it a bit too personally? Was my answer the answer your brain gave you? Let me help you out.
Ghosting is too normalized
Oh boy, I was just watching the show „Ghosted“, where people are convinced that ghosting is the way you are breaking up with somebody instead of addressing the issue. Everything in my body cringed. I hope it’s not a sign of our generation that people are running away from any sort of confrontation. Or not having to see the pain they’re causing. But actually, that happened all over history. We found stories of people faking their own death just to get away from someone. I was shocked when I found out ghosting even happens when you’re already in a relationship – that shit is next-level avoidance.
But enough of me babbling, you wanted to know the reason why they ghosted you.
They are a jerk. That’s all you need to know.
Reasons for ghosting
- Maybe they aren’t interested,
- maybe they had different expectations
- maybe they found somebody else,
- maybe they are overwhelmed,
- maybe they are going through stuff,
- maybe they are a jerk.
It’s probably number 6. They are definitely a chicken. That’s what they are showing you for sure with this action. Because if they put their lack of empathy over a person’s feelings and what they deserve, you will have issues with them over and over again.
It has nothing to do with you, even if they don’t like you.
What not do do when they ghost you
You definitely are not to blame. There’s nothing wrong with you. If that person can’t handle you, it’s on them, not on you.
You don’t need to understand their reasons why they decided to treat you that way. You don’t have to have compassion for their actions. They didn’t have it for you either.
The hard side of ghosting is the feeling of abandonment. The idea of disapproval of you as a person. That’s not true. It has nothing to do with you, even if they don’t like you. Your value doesn’t change, just because someone prefers raspberries over blackberries. A mismatch is so easy to happen. Not the right time, not the right thing they’re looking for, it doesn’t matter because it is not the right person then for you anyway.
What to do when they ghosted you
Misunderstood as ghosting
You both haven’t texted each other? Maybe the other one is waiting for you to text and it’s all just a misunderstanding. It’s the 21st century, there are no rules anymore who has to text first. Get off your high horse. If they’re not texting back after: Well then you know for sure.
Don’t let them zombie around
The masters of the ghosting game are using this method to bail out so that they can just always come back into your life as if nothing happened. Because he left you like that without notice. If you react to that and they probably ghost again after they got from you whatever they were looking for because you just showed them that they can do it over and over again. Maybe there’s one benefit of the doubt but: get some new dating material. It’s not worth it.
Don’t wake ghosts
Move on. Block them. Don’t try to get answers. If you really can’t help it to text them, there’s still no need to give them the butthurt speech, even though that is, what you want to through in their face. My suggestion would be, as I am not happy about the ideas of the „dating coaches“:
„I am happy you showed me your true color that early, so that I know already, how immaturely you are avoiding confrontation. This isn’t for me and I am moving on.“
There’s better fish in the sea. Push them from that pedestal. And put yourself up there. When they choose „the easy way out“ they will also avoid any kind of confrontation and are difficult to handle in relationships. That’s not what you are looking for.
You need that closure though? I also wrote about how to get closure. You’re welcome.
